detectivejane:

knightoflime:

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who reads ancient scrolls written in a forbidden tongue and summons nightmarish beings from beyond the mortal plane.

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(via timewarped145)

(Source: mindykaeling, via timewarped145)

(Source: bowlegschester, via timewarped145)

the-winchester-initiative:

posthumous-mcdouble:

Hypothesis: if women are worse at parking, it’s only because they’ve been lied to about what eight inches is their entire lives

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(Source: collectiveassbutts, via pizza)


beckersher:

hemosnixuality:

heathers-rivera:

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I AM PEEING MYSELF

THIS DOESN’T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE

(via twofingerswhiskey)


girl: babe come over
boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
girl: my parents aren't home
boy: I know

tatted-clifford:

"Talk dirty to me"

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(via twofingerswhiskey)

ladiesloveloki:

tonystaarks:

uncleloki:

#PEPPERED

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The hands down BEST line of Iron Man.

(via timewarped145)

watdawut:

Me saving my grades at the end of a term

watdawut:

Me saving my grades at the end of a term

(via timewarped145)

comic-chick:

hipnerd:

This is the same man.

I think about this a lot.

(via timewarped145)